do you feel you can't be used

thorns and roses

there’s a thorn in my flesh
that I can’t seem to unpluck
from my soul

I await the day
that it all turns to dust
and becomes nothing more
than just a distant memory

this thorn in my flesh
I tried to get rid of it
but every single day
it’s right there, staring back at me

I’m like—get away
I scrub, I scrub, I scrub
and there always seems to be that spot
that I cannot get cleaned

I pray for you 
to take it away again
still nothing happens

this thorn
maybe it’s something you want to use
for something greater
that my eyes 
cannot yet see

in my peripheral vision
I’m blindsided, honestly
because from the inside out
I just want to be more like you

that’s all I want

but how can I be more like you
if this thorn 
keeps dragging me back to yesterday?
to that version of me
that was crippled

and it’s so weird that
the more we grow
the more we see
things that need to be changed

we think
we can only be used
once we reach that stage
once we become that version
of ourselves
that’s thorn-free, right?

so I’ve asked a third time
the same request
please pluck it from my rose, Lord

still you say, my child
I’m going to use this

so who am I
to consider this thorn
a weakness
when you see it as strength?

you see it all differently
your time is not
bound by minutes and seasons
maybe this thorn is a good burden
that will build
a bridge from others to you

honestly, I still don’t know

and even if 
you don’t take it away
I know, somehow
you will use it.

[March 2025]

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Heart Call:

”…Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me,
‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.”—2 Corinthians 12:7–10 (NIV)

We all have things we wish God would take away.
But maybe the very thing we’re begging Him to remove is something He’ll choose to use — not just for us, but to bless somebody else. Honestly, I can’t wait to see how He will use yours and mine too.

• What’s the thorn in your flesh right now? The one you’ve prayed about, pleaded about… and it’s still there?

• How might God be using that thorn to shape you? to mold your character?

• And how has that thorn sharpened your vision—opening your eyes to people you might have never noticed,
  people who are carrying something that looks a lot like yours?

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Photo Credits: Nia Giri.