This thing keeps you small...
I was trying to be everybody’s cup of tea, and my coffee lost its kick
You know, my life’s goal was to be a wallflower. I thought that if I stayed small, I’d stay in control. I wouldn’t have conflict. I could please people. But over time, I realized that wanting to be small can actually be a form of disobedience—because you’re compromising your calling just to keep everyone approving of you. What you do. How you do it. How you show up. And honestly, it took me 26 years to really see that. And that’s okay, because you have to go to the root of the issue to understand where it’s coming from. being small → is often tied to wanting to be liked ↓ being agreeable → wanting to be accepted ↓ people pleasing → wanting to be in control The older you get, the more you have to accept that you are not for everyone—and that’s okay. Because the truth is your anointing is not for everyone; otherwise would it even be... an anointing? This quote I love says it a bit differently too: I was trying to be everybody’s cup of tea, and my coffee lost its kick. Two years ago, I had to do just that. There were some relationships I felt called to step away from—not because we had a major falling out, but because over and over again I felt God telling me, it’s time, it’s time, it’s time. And honestly, it hurt. I cried a little, because I wanted to have them in my life forever. But I also felt God keep telling me that if I stayed, I was going to shrink—and that He was calling me out of that season not just to live for myself and my comfort, but for who He was molding me to be. That was hard, especially for someone who really values humility. In my head, I kept thinking, if I leave, am I still being humble? What would they think? But over and over again, it kept getting confirmed that it was time to obey. And when I did, my life changed. I learned to rely on Him more. And I think that’s really the point God is always trying to get us to—complete dependency on Him not on people. And that’s the beauty of it all. I’ve learned that the moment you feel like you have to force a relationship—the moment you’re grasping instead of resting—that’s your cue to step back. Because sometimes we’re fighting to keep people in our lives who were only meant to be there for a season. Some people are meant to walk closely with you. Some are meant to teach you something from afar. And some are meant to be let go. I think being “small” has a lot to do with that—holding onto relationships God has already told us to release. We tell ourselves, No, they have to be with me forever. But why are we putting people on a pedestal? Would your world really collapse if this person wasn’t in your life anymore? Because any good thing—any good person, any good memory—can become an idol if we allow it to dictate when and how we hold onto a relationship. Because there’s a very thin line between loving something and worshiping it. So my prayer shifted. Not what can I get from this relationship? But what relationships are meant for my season right now? Who am I meant to serve in this season? And when we let go of a relationship God has told us to release, there’s a lasting peace that comes with it. You’re able to live more freely—and you’re finally able to see the person in front of you that He’s actually calling you to walk with. And that changes everything.
Heart Call:
God moves in seasons, and not every relationship is meant to move with you into the next one.
Everything that happens in this world happens at the time God chooses— (Ecclesiastes 3:1 (GNT).
So take a moment and pray:
Where in your life are you staying small?
And how can you stay sensitive to who God is calling you to pour into
in your new season?