A recipe I’m still learning...
how to be a good friend
a pinch of deep stories seasons something sturdy a friendship that withstands time but is it easy to nurture? unmeasured vulnerability a cup too full overmixed, turns dense after baking stingy transparency a dry friendship undermixed rising unevenly, lacking flavor does baking time matter, too? fast connections burns like us crisp muffins, charred inside and out we get excited spiraling into overnight vulnerability going deep too quickly, we lose boundary we mistake trauma bonding for intimacy eight cups of deep scars, two teaspoons of light conversation psychological safety as currency are real friendships just time or a set recipe? where we only look for our reflection people with our skin who talk like us and have our same upbringing? how do we set the temperature? when do we know someone can be trusted? or make a JROTC about-face, a silky-smooth 180 into oversharing? these questions spin like a toupie, whirling in endless spirals our mouths chant too many syllables in some places or too little in others we move the needle forward but we tell ourselves we’re stuck like a broken record repeating the same false notes but what if, our questions were wrong? are we as guarded as we used to be? have we grown beyond yesterday's version of ourselves? so maybe then we need to give ourselves permission to let time bake depth Maybe it’s time to draw clear lines Maybe boundaries are for our safety.
Heart Call:
Boundaries are not walls. It just means we learn and relearn who can be trusted, and who we might need to love from a distance. (Yes, even the good people.)
Your turn:
What’s your first reaction after oversharing?
How can you set boundaries with casual, close, and intimate friendships?
Photo Credits: Maksim Chernishev