I LOVE YOU, best friend
hadn't learned swimming yet
you were still leading me and I mistook it all for harmony I was your instrument you chose the notes played the song as you stroked each key it sounded just like me playing so I never thought much of it I thought I had no one left to forgive but there you were still hiding in the closet I loved you so much I’d sacrifice myself first we had met at three inseparable last names with A’s first names with L’s yellow barrettes tied us together a match made in heaven green barrettes came preteens, 2010’s earthquake happened our paths got split open you made a decision that I never saw coming you chose someone you chose distance it hurt but I told my feet to draw nearer, try harder but you never chose our friendship navy blue barrettes came I thought you just didn’t know how to show up that I mistook being needed for being loved this summer pride in trying to protect myself I built a guard with that old wound in new waters I had come to terms with something I didn’t know I was still carrying I hadn’t forgiven you thirteen years ago you were just a kid at 13 and so was I you chose her because she embodied a safety net that could teach you how to float when I, myself hadn't learned to swim yet you were just trying to survive puberty & love and she could give you answers that I just couldn’t so, I really need to let you go because even when personalities or skin hues collide with yours not everyone is out to hurt me my dear L.A. I need to tell you this sure secret I love you, old friend but I won't bleed into my new relationships again I forgive you. [4 July 2025]
Heart Call:
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. —
Psalms 119: 23-24
We carry wounds and unforgiveness from our childhood into adulthood without realizing. And the only way to we find out about them is in stillness.
Have you taken time to be by yourself some days, weeks, and months this year?
How can you take time in prayer and solitude
to ask God to reveal to you where
you’re operating from old wounds?
Photo Credits: Janylah Etienne.