Are you thinking this season is too hard

letting go to meet you

I jumped off the Grand Canyon
and I’d do it again

I did that April 7, 2023
not because I’m that brave
but because someone borrowed me 
some drops of courage

crazy how the current 
had already sung so many funerals
but it spit me out
like it got tired of my body 
weighing it down

mass times gravity? 
too heavy. too much story

but still I don’t know
how did I survive?
I was rather weak, rather shy
yet the water said:
She’s a fighter, this one

I jumped off the Grand Canyon
and somehow I was reborn

not in the cliché way
not karma 
not reincarnation
not nine lives stitched together

but something better
this me. one life. right now

so I jumped the Grand Canyon
cause the pavement burned my soles red
It fumed at me and said
how long will you wait before 
your heart breaks for what breaks mine?

It took me a long while
not to keep 
the most important person in my life 
a best-kept secret

couldn’t keep watching family die
from depression
from the pressure
while keeping my lips sealed about hope
just in case I'd be offensive

so I jumped
still each day I borrow courage

want to know my secret?
I didn’t change myself
It’s not personal growth, friend

truth is
can a caterpillar change itself into a butterfly?
transformation sure is pretty
before and after picture

but I swallowed 
a big gulp of that water 
that danced through me inside out

that water sure filled me up
now I’m becoming different
yet more myself

I’ve complained about this season
said it was hard
but I’d do it all over again

maybe you have to let go too
jump all in to meet you

If you ever need a hand to jump off 
the Grand Canyon
He’ll hold your hand
and jump all in with you.

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Heart Call

Jumping all in that water is how you meet your true self.

But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life. —John 4:14 (NIV)

• Are you still trying to do life on your own change yourself, heal yourself?

• What leap is God asking you to take with Him?

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