She did her best

small wins, win every time

I forgot this
but it didn’t make sense for 
something so simple to just slip away
why, though? 
how could I forget the small wins?

I lived them in the shadows 
before anyone could see

I said hi, that was big
I said tell me more of your story
that was big
I stepped into the uncomfortable
that too was big

I remember driving to host at a new church
in my car
eating the cold breakfast for courage

and I asked God: 
would you take this personally 
if I just turn the engine ON and go back home?
I said: I didn’t know anybody there

but then He was like:
well you know Me, and I’m going to be there
so I walked into the unknown
scared of the eyes painted on the auditorium walls
that too was big

and it’s weird 
how our mind misses those small milestones
the ones we thought 
were mountainous impossibilities
a year ago
a month ago
maybe even last week

friends, we’ve come far.

remember the small girl, broken and bruised by the world?
didn’t she try her best?
pushing through in childlike strides
they may seem short now, but don’t compare

how could we ask her to do anything differently?
to speak up
to break the cycle earlier 
when she was just a child doing her best

she, you and we did our best
repeat that over and over 
until we believe it

she said, don’t call me by anything but my name!
she shared her faith in a public school 
she walked into rooms with just God holding her hand

she was just a child
still learning how to think
how to reason with pain
she fell down, and she got back up again

don’t chart her progress on the same graph
as who you are now
or it might look like a straight horizontal line
hiding the growth that’s truly there

wanting to always take up space 
like it costs her nothing
yet even showing up costs her everything.

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Heart Call

You’ve already done some really hard things. You showed up when it was hard.
You said yes when fear said no. That wasn’t small.

• What have you been calling “not a big deal”
  that actually took a lot courage to do?

• What quiet milestone deserves to be celebrated today?

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